All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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