Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
