i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
