Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
