after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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