dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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