so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
