I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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