Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
