Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
