Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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