I'm gonna have a badass scar
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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