it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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