There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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