Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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