look no pants
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize