We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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