i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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