He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
