in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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