I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We left an ass print on the piano.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
