the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
