hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
