nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize