Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
