I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
