Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
