dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
