What did we do last night that was yellow?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
