After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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