SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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