fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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