I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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