it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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