Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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