She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My cat gives me a boner
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
