I am spending my child support on dildos
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
