Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
