he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Randomize