That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize