Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
