im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
