Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
im on a boat
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