Pants 0. Shit 1.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
