Say something about gay babies.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
