Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
