Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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