umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
