The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
