i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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