Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she woke up with a sticky ear
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
