woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
