dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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