porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
