hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
