Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
