If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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