you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
