Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
